Last year was painful. Broken bones, Stills attacked my eyes, 2 flares and my immune system so ravaged the disease caused shingles in one eye and the stills disease to attack the other. So, this was an important day today, the decision to get the shingles shot. I had a very long discussion with the MD who spent several hours with me going over the pros the cons and the reassurance that the injection was the new shingles shot and is NOT the live version. My fear was that it would cause another flare.

I have to admit, how comforted i felt by this amazing physician who sat with me and let me talk and explain how I felt. I never felt pressured or hurried. I am so grateful to have such a compassionate MD. I wish everybody could have the beautiful experience and empathy I experienced by this internist I met with yesterday . My rheumatologist stressed that getting this injection was extremely important. He urged me to make an appointment with an internist and suggested the best one for me to feel safe. So, without reservation i booked and appointment. And after long discussion and without hesitation, I accepted the shot.

I didn’t have the best night last night. In fact, it was quite awful. I knew that the arm was going to be painful, so I was prepared. But I was not aware of the nausea that I might feel through the night. So, my sleep app said that i only slept 73%. I will rest today. But if this shot beats my eyes bleeding out and and the other eye blistering out of my head and the intense pain in my eyeballs for 7 weeks, then, bring it! I will never go through that again.

After the shot, I was sent to X-Ray to get imaging of the right foot that is still not healing. UGH. I mean seriously? When will I finally have no broken bones and live without pain?

But, as I speak with friends through my days, I learn we all have pain from may different things. Many times the pain people have is not visible on MRI or X-Rays. A few of my friends are suffering from addiction. Another is haunted by her past. Another is tormented by family and personal issues. So, I feel for them and know we are all going though our personal hallways and personal pathways of pain.

I am asked all the time how I mange to keep going through episode after episode of chaos with my health (which I hope ends soon, meaning my pain, not my life!!! Good grief ! ) I attribute it to my personal philosophy on life. We all have one, but we don’t often make it a point to write it out, or talk about it. I am going to write mine out in detail. It might take me a long time because I have hard time describing it all in words.

I do know that my personal philosophy is how i manage to keep my focus on the positive, strive to know that things will get better. I know that this pain will pass. I will get better and healthy and strong, because I know the best is yet to come, for me and for you.

Stay healthy friends.

Claudine

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