RSS

Category Archives: Daily Update

This Too Shall Pass, but the pain is so bad until it does :-(

I have been procrastinating. It’s a strange feeling of “if I don’t go to the web page, maybe I can post something more cheerful. I am sorry I waited. Things has been awful. But, I’m glad to be alive, so I guess this balances things out. My flare on 1/28/19 was a doozy.

What a nightmare of a flare. The symptoms came on like wildfire. The telltale cough. The feeling of freezing, although everyone else is warm, the evening arrives and the drenching sweats and chattering teeth so hard I feel as if they will shatter. The jaw pain from the spastic muscles of chattering.

The emergency room visit and IVs and the explaining and explaining, blah blah blah. They called my specialist and we started the labs and Medrol.

But why is the human mind like this ? Why do we think if we ignore it, it will go away. It’s a strange phenomenon.

It’s been 2 months. I have flared twice during this time.

One week when I just got sick of the Medrol and I said “SCREW THIS!!” In more colorful words.

I was fine for 24 hours and then……WHAMMO‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️I had never had a flare kick me in the ass so hard !

My fever went sky high -(102) I was vomiting repeatedly and had chills and chattering teeth and joint pain. And the strange thing, my eyes were leaking yellow pus and were so swollen shut I couldn’t see. I was terrified I was going to go blind. The other additional symptom was a raised, very red and pointed rash appears. NOT the typical rash. It was firm rash, very isolated to hips, thighs and abdomen. It went away in 2 weeks but it was odd.

I started the medrol and the MTX again and have not had a huge repeat.

Although, I cough when I get very tired and I feel like I’m going to collapse and cry from fatigue. The intensity of the fatigue is whole body pain. I drag my feet. I cry.

It sucks, but I’m alive. And if you’re reading this, then you are alive too.

And I am so glad you are here with me.

Well, time for the methotrexate injection. Live on. Love on.

Stay healthy my friends,

Claudine

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 16, 2019 in Daily Update

 

Trying to get a flare quickly is a joke

The flare started on January 28th. It came on so fast it was strange. It was like the dragon said “I’m back! And you better watch out !”

I have been on the Medrol for 6 weeks now and the methotrexate injections. It’s working well.

I am feeling better. But, foolishly, one day I was feeling fine and thought, “I must have caught this flare quickly and I can stop the meds!!! ‼️WRONG‼️. Very dumb of me. That evening I had symptoms that were so intense I was scared. The sweats and chattering teeth woke me up and when and I stood up, I started vomiting and coughing so violently.

The vomiting turned into a dry heaves nightmare. I could barely catch my breath. During this the sweat poured into my eyes from my drenched sweaty hair, burning my eyes. The intensity broke the blood vessels in my eyes. My husband held me but I felt awful that he needed sleep to be at work early. He is so supportive and loving.

Eventually the episode stopped. I was so weak. I sat in a chair I keep next to the shower due to the fatigue I have from showering. I get exhausted very easily.

I’m very diligent now. I have no desire to repeat my dumb idea of “Hey! I must be cured now!!” Only 2 weeks into a flare 🙄.

So, I know, this too shall pass. I just wish it would hurry it’s stupid self out of here.

Stay healthy friends,

Claudine

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 20, 2019 in Daily Update

 

ED with a diagnosis this time gets the ball rolling

Not at all like the years before when I flared, the doctors had no clue what to do with me. As my labs, back then climbed and my ferritin level reached 14,000. Right now we caught it 3000.

All echo and heart monitoring is normal. Thank goodness.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 27, 2019 in Daily Update

 

Sadness and fear of this flare

I know that stress is a huge component to Stills flares. The rash has come on slowly over the last 10 days, but I justified it as hives or emotions from having these broken bones for 6 months.

I didn’t take the rash seriously until 2 days ago when I lost all appetite and got chills around 7pm. I went to sleep and drenched my night shirt.

Last night my teeth chattered all night and my body was covered in chills as my drenched the sheets with sweat. Hip joint pain has started. The routine was to use a 100% cotton robe to absorb all the sweat and change into more shirts every couple hours. Always have towels on the pillows to catch the sweat pooling up on the sheets and drenched hair.

But now it’s time to go to the hospital. Get my labs drawn. I pray that the major organ affected is anything, but please God , not my heart. I have seen 2 patients in 24 years die when the heart is attacked by the disease.

So now, I ask for prayers. I will rest and let my body return to normal with medications and IVs

The evil visitors have arrived but they will not be here long.

Prayers please friends.

Claudine

 
2 Comments

Posted by on January 27, 2019 in Daily Update

 

Stress is our enemy.

It’s been a journey I never want to take again. It’s been absolutely horrible this ordeal.

In August I slipped on our flooded tile floor when I came down stairs. The floor had flooded with an inch of water everywhere. When my foot slipped on the water I hydroplaned across the floor. My left leg went under the couch where it was pinned.

My leg swelled immediately. Thank goodness my husband was home to free me. The next day I went to the doctor thinking I had a sprained ankle. The doctor didn’t do much he said just take care and use pain meds. The xrays has showed NOTHING.

A few days later of screaming all day and night I went back. They did and MRI and found my femur was bleeding out due to a severe contusion and a femur hairline fractures.

2 months later I kept telling them my foot hurt and was swollen and I cried in pain and could not walk without crutches. He sent me to a orthopedic do not that also said I has a sprained ankle.

I went home crying and in pain.

2 months later I went back again because I couldn’t walk without pain. I went to a new orthopedic MD and he found I had 3 broken bones in my foot. For 4 months I’ve suffered and cried in pain. He put me in a cast and use a knee scooter.

The stress of all of this and and now the cast for a month has caused extreme stress in my body. I was so cold last evening and could not warm up. I shivered and tries to eat dinner but went to bed instead. I slept 13 hours and had 2 drenching sweat episodes.

I prayed please no, please dear lord, do not add a flare on top of this. Please dear lord I beg.

This last month going on 6 months now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. The cast comes off on Thursday. I have not been able to stay at my home due to the stairs and only the kitchen and living room is down stairs. So I have been staying with my mother. I miss my husband , I miss my cats, I miss my horses, i miss living my life. I miss my life.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on January 26, 2019 in Daily Update

 

Caution. Extreme fatigue, high and constant pain can bring on a flare

Could so many days of pain that does not subside bring on Still flare? I know it can, but I don’t want to even allow the thoughts to take hold in the universe.

My poor leg. Our 1st floor of our house flooded and I came down the stairs and hydroplaned across the white tile floor into a couch. My left leg went under the couch and was stopped my knee cap. And have 2 poor broken toes that hit the leg of the couch.

The MRI reveals I have several high grade contusions to the lateral and also medial femoral condyle. I have a 4 x2 cm capsulosynovial cyst that formed on the medial femoral condyle. The pain I feel when I take steps is light electrical shocks. I cry at night when I shift or move my leg. I wake up tired and in pain.

I must wear brace for 4-6 weeks 😣

No flexing knee for 3 weeks

No jacuzzi

No running

No jumping

No riding horse

No long distance walks

This is all very awful, but the symptoms I have at night are the most worrisome.

I’m not sure if the extreme cold I feel at night with teeth chattering and then a fevers that beaks is due to experiencing constant pain? I did have labs drawn a month ago for a different situation. The labs were normal. But I may have to go back and have lab draws again soon.

The fear of a chronic illness that lurks in the dark is always in the back of my mind.

This past year I have endured so much pain from getting a knee in the jaw, a wrenched back from lifting patients at work and a Right leg tibial contusion. Now this. I’m exhausted from being in constant pain. I try and be mindful. I try to embrace the pain because I know there are people suffering in much more pain than I am.

If I could take the pain away from abused animals by having and accepting this pain, I would do it. But in the meantime and brutal existence with pain, I take a deep breath and pray.

Stay healthy my friends.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on September 9, 2018 in Daily Update

 

Sleeping 14 to 16 hours makes it hard to have a life

I have been feeling very tired lately. Is it due to the weather change? Diet change, stress? Who knows. I had my labs done and everything seems fine. But as always, if I over do my activity or if the weather changes and I exert myself harder than usual, my fatigue is so tremendous that I require a ridiculous amount of sleep.

I feel as I can fall asleep anywhere. If I just push myself to get the necessary tasks done, grocery shopping, cleaning up the house, feeding pets, making dinner, I become very cold and my teeth will chatter and I must sleep.

This weekend I slept 14 hours and then was awake for 3 hours then slept andother 2 hours. I felt fine after this long sleep. My husband is very supportive of me. He can tell when my immune system is causing some havoc. Stills disease is so uncommon and rare that very little is actually known, and it often goes misdiagnosed. Many people suffer for months in and out of hospitals and ICU and then even then a diagnosis isn’t found, as in my case. Depending on the organ affected, AOSD can take a life.

With this summer weather coming on, please be mindful of your energy expenditure  friends. Although you may not be in 110 heat as in arizona, you will need to pay attention to the humidity that can drain you.

 

Stay well my friends, minimize your activity in this difficult weather.

Claudine

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 4, 2018 in Daily Update