What happens to the mind when it is flooded with the possibility that a mere contact with the wrong person can end your life? Well, it becomes paranoid. But after a while, a strange feeling of optimism evolves. A feeling of, “if I can beat this disease AOSD/Stills, then, not much else can be worse!”
But the rational behavior kicks in. We are all a bit scared and some are worse than scared, and have a good right to be. All I can do is hope that I stay safe and others do too.
There is no need to worry. You just stay safe and know that you are doing the best you can. The less we worry the less we hurt. Right now the world makes no sense. We can exhaust ourselves with “worst case scenarios” or we can lift ourselves up with generous attention to love and life. Whether this is a love of animals, plants or the universe as whole. Being grateful is all we have.
So, until we can hug and embrace and sit and enjoy the company of others, I send out love.
Stay healthy friends.
I acquired AOSD in 2008. I have suffered so terribly and have found ways to help me regain my life. This my personal journal of this mystery illness to diagnosis. I hope that I can help others with my experience and information.