I have always felt that change is the only constant we have. If we are not flexible with change, change will be forced upon us. Nobody likes things forced upon them. However, there are many times through life that change occurs and we eager for it, example graduation day, a promotion at work, a new puppy, the 1st flowers of spring, etc. But there are a million things that occur with change that harder to accept. It can be very heartbreaking to leave behind an identity that has defined us for decades.

When change happens and takes away things we love, for example a beloved career, this is harder to accept. Some people will be lost for a longtime, sometimes never recover. I know that I have grieved, and cried but my desire to continue staying engaged and find the meaning of life in a new arena will be rewarding and joyful. But this can only happen if we have lived and experienced and gained wisdom. When we live with compassion and engage with others, it ignites a small pilot light that glows and brings warmth. This warmth is a place where others want to be near you and help.

When I acknowledge that my career will never be a space that I can return to, it is a softer response. The past feeling was shock, grief, tears, sobbing, sadness. But I have had time to adjust to this new journey. A chronic disease, let alone a rare disease has a way of adjusting your sails. Sure, you are still out at sea, but the journey has changed, now I can see that my skills are a part of me. They will always be me. I am a healer. I am a patient person. I am a nurturer. I am a medical professional. I will always be an occupational therapist at heart. It was my world. And even though I cannot go back due to risk of infectious diseases and my poor immune system, I still have my brain. I still have my compassion for people. Although , my sucky immune system has changed my life, I have talents that the human race needs.

I think about the adventure that awaits me now. Instead of focusing on a single task, my view turns broader. What can I do, from where I am now to help others? I love to write and draw. I will continue on this path. I have written, illustrated and published 7 children’s books. I am now ready to add a new title to myself, my identity.

Leaving one identity behind and having a new one feels strange. It feels like Im cheating on my old self. I’m still me. Im just finding new meaning and purpose. My goal is to help others adjust and find their own way to adjust their new sails for a new journey. I want to help others find purpose in life, a meaningful life, in whatever way that is personal to them. I guess, I am forever an occupational therapist at heart.

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