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Wide awake

26 Dec

Here it is 3:40 am and I am still wide awake. These steroids are so weird. I have never had a problem sleeping 8 hours,  I’ve never had a sleep problem. But since I have started on these steroids,  I don’t sleep. I have absolutely no desire for sleep.  Every night,  middle of the night, my eyes pop open at   1 or 2 am and I start thinking about making eggs, vacuuming the house, standing out on the balcony, staring at the night sky.  Tonight, I fell asleep at 8pm. I thought, OH GOOD!, I’M FINALLY TIRED!! YAY! But, NO , here I am. I am awake blogging, better than lying awake thinking about how many pairs of tennis shoes I have, or if I should iron some clothes, or if I should try to eat  a cookie or sew a button on a shirt that fell off. I feel ok though, just not sleepy feeling.  I’m still so very weak, so when I am awake, I just sit, watching crappy t.v. through the night.  Truth is I HATE T.V. !! I hope I can go back to myself when I get off these steroids in several weeks. I can’t imagine being awake for the rest of my life. I will surely go insane.

 

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